Hi Kirk,

Welcome to Jaman! Take a look at this Bollywood 101 group Bollywood 101 . I have made some suggestions about which films to watch first.

And you can find me here Link to my Profile

Let me know if you need help!

Hi kirk,

This is going to be pretty easy to do, so pay attention.

How to be a bollywood

expert in the US.

(Any resemblance to people living or dead etc...)

You need to do one of the following.Watchng bollywood films is optional.

A. Stalk.

1.The Star Stalker : look at plenty of pictures of a star whose picture you like on the internet. usually there are yahoo searches (some bollywood star appears in the top ten etc) . Maximize the hi res pic. stare intently at it , imagine you have a relationship with the star. understand their every internet news story. dissect it rise to sublimeness and fall to rideculousness with their each picture signing/ qitting/release/hit/flop. Join message boards filled with star stalkers and normalize your obsession.

1. Message board stalker: be a regular poster on a bollywood message board. take up a consistent critical position (I may be advocating feminism , for instance, every movie will be seen through the prism of feminism). Challenge old films to filter through your chosen tunnel vision.Be assertive, carpricious argumentatative. practice assertiveness and winning friends and influencing people. scratch people's backs and let them scratch yours in return. It's all ab out you baby!

2. Festival stalker: or conference stalker..On the principle that bollywood stars in the US are attention whores when they get at these conferences or festivals. walk up to them with your most normal / serious expression , and "establish" a "relationship" with them. Talk about it as if you are on first name basis. write interviews with them(which noone in their right mind will publish, and store them on your hard drive). Having/ discussing/mentioning your script to them is optional.

B. Blog: Watch films on recommendations and blog your level of knowldge about them. link up your blog with similar like minded blogs (we're all writing rubbish anyway) and comment on/ recieve comments from everybody and their boyfriend.There's no purpose nescesary to blog bollywood. it could just be a "OMGGGGGG I'm so white and I'm so in love with bollywood in the middle of my 1000 acre hoss and pig farm in kansasssss..." and that's all it usually takes. 20 films down the line youre the resident expert of your house on bollywood.

C. join a support group: This can be anyone from someone teaching you bollywood dance to a neighbor whose thrilled to find a (White! American!) flesh and blood person that actually likes the films he sees. suck 'im dry. you may discard the remains or not...he'll never get you anyway.

D. Visualize: Imagine that you have a direct line to B R Chopra(via ranee mookerjee). behave like a rotten spoilt brat that must have your way. Bestow chocolate fudge approvals and stunningly offensive disapprovals. complain like youre an airline passenger (pre 9/11) about the quality of film , the quality of the DVD the quality of the dancing and the quality of your favorite star's hair. Also complain that there are too many notes, too few notes, the dancing is too complicated, its not complicated at all, the clothes do not suit your soft furnishing, youd like to buy them...etc. The more detailed this crib is, the more credible you are an American bollywood critic.

E. Make avtars(avvies) : preferably the moving picturebite variety. (or steal them from people who do) . make screen caps. buy ringtones/ record/ copy them. leave a Bollywood CD inserted in you car's CD player, and surprise your non bollywood friends with your cultural literacy.

F. Trivial pursuit: Try to see every Shahrukh Khan(or whoever) movie in existance.Recognise scenes (this is from koyla, but the 1984 version...) this is not like being a cineaste. you are trying to become the pulp film journalist's ideal bollywood fan...un differentiated,non threatening and enthusiastic.

G. It may be optional that you see theatrical releases but you GOTTA Own and see plenty of DVDs and go to every star show in town. Pox on you if you dont, they'll supply a list in the Indian store with your visage, and give you the evil eye(and sneeze into your 2.99 lunch special) if you dont.

Good luck.

(NEDUMUDI VENU RULEZ!! Hes da best!!!! I wanna totally sex him but not in that way,( what're you? a pervert? )www,fansofvenu.com , Nedumudi venu forum , Join today. Nedumudi venu avtarz at www.geocities.com/nedumudivenu, my blog at nedumudivenufanperzon@blogcities.com.)

Welcome Kirk. The best way to familiarize yourself with Bollywood, I would say, is just to browse the group discussions in all groups that deal with Bollywood or Indian Cinema. Also, there are several great blogs that you can visit that will keep you afloat of the going-ons in Bollywood (i.e. naachgaana.com - more for fans who are already familiar with the industry).